Have You Ever?
by MarandaWrites
Summary: Songfic: Stephanie reflects on her eighteenth birthday party in her diary and how it's left her in limbo with a forbidden love.


Disclaimer: I do not own Brandy's Music or Lazytown

A/N: ....Fluff has entered my brain and mixed with good ideas, creating this little songfic. I needed to do something for my readers (you) because I've been slacking lately. So, have a present and I will update _Chasing Sanity_ soon.

(Done to _Have You Ever? _ By Brandy)

_**Have You Ever?**_

I have watched him for years now. His smirk has driven my nerves wild unlike any man. His spontaneous personality still brings me to the edge of excitement, waiting like a child for their birthday presents. I sit, write in my diary about him and how I breathe him in and dream of him every ticking second of every day. Though my heart has decided to fall for him, it cannot happen. Ever.

For he is the villain.

_Have you ever loved somebody so much_

_It makes you cry_

_Have you ever needed something so bad_

_You can't sleep at night_

I suppose this love for Robbie Rotten had to start at some point before it escalated into oblivion. The problem is, I can never recall in full detail how the day proceeded once I realized my affections. So, aside from the actual _falling_ for Robbie, the day is a blur of a car speeding late at night when heads turn.

_Have you ever tried to find the words_

_But they don't come out right_

_Have you ever? Have you ever?_

Admitting Robbie has always seemed cute to me is probably the easiest part of this confession. When I knew I loved him, my world stopped rotating. It was a glorious night in Lazytown, to begin with. Most importantly, it was my eighteenth birthday. Sportacus, Trixie, Pixel, Stingy, and Ziggy had been planning a huge surprise party alongside my Uncle Milford and our neighbor Bessie's help. It took place in our town gym, decorated with every type of birthday streamer, confetti, balloons, and whatnot.

"_Stephanie,_" Ziggy said. "Trixie wants to show you a new cheer she choreographed. She's waiting in the gymnasium. Hurry!"

I was pulled along like a kite string by Ziggy; He slowed every once in awhile to see if I was following or not. Once we arrived at the gym, you can imagine all the uproar and hoopla waiting for me behind closed doors. We danced, ate pizza, and I opened gifts from everyone with upmost gratefulness. The party was perfect . . . Until Robbie Rotten appeared at the entrance, dressed as a clown. Growing up with the Master of Disguise left no room for mystery. Why no one else caught on stumped me. Maybe they felt sorry for him wasting so much time trying to rid of Sportacus. I played along with every intention of moving on with the day once he was 'defeated.'

Robbie came sauntering in with the most ridiculous red clown nose on and a multi-colored, curly-haired wig I'd ever seen. I had no idea what he had planned that night. Once he pulled out balloons, it caught everyone's attention. He made balloon animals, but they weren't normal.

"For the birthday girl," he said, and handed me a lime green dog.

I studied my balloon pet and noticed wisps of smoke dancing slowly inside. I could guess whatever the smoke was would affect us enough to not care or notice if Sportacus suddenly went missing. I didn't want this to go any further.

I shouted,"Stop!"

"What's wrong?" Sportacus asked, giving me an odd stare.

I looked Clown-Robbie in the eyes and sternly said, "This is my birthday party, and you have no right trying to ruin it. If you don't get rid of these balloons I will never speak with you again, Robbie Rotten."

Obviously everybody gasped in awe as I ripped the wig from his head. I handed him my balloon animal, lime green with toxic waste inside, and waited for his move.

"Alright!" Robbie began ranting, "So you've found me out earlier than I expected. But that doesn't crush my spirit. I, the Master of Disguise, will one day triumph in getting rid of Sportacus."

"Would you just cut the crap already?" I felt myself grow angrier each second. "Everyday you try and cause trouble. No one cares anymore. We're too busy with our lives to pay attention to someone who does nothing all day and then suddenly appears with mischief. You are so useless to this town! We are all growing up, so why don't you?" My cold words even stabbed _my _heart.

No one could have predicted my rude and loud reply to Robbie. And there was no way I could have predicted his next moves; Robbie glared at me, hitting my very core with hatred, and stomped out of the gym.

_Have you ever been in love_

_Been in love so bad_

I followed him, not caring about the others.

_You'd do anything to make them understand_

_Have you ever had someone steal your heart away_

_You'd give anything up to make them feel the same_

He hadn't gotten very far. Robbie sat alone in the bleachers outside. I could see his balloons fall at his feet. I ran to the football field and climbed to the top.

"Robbie . . ." I began softly.

He had tears in his eyes. I could see the pain radiate from him.

"Pinky," He began angrily. "I don't want you near me."

I sat down.

"I'm sorry, Robbie."

"Too late," He said. "You wouldn't invite me to your own party, so I had to crash it. I had to cause trouble. It's the only way . . ."

_Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart_

_But you don't know what to say_

_And you don't know where to start_

My arm inched towards his. I spoke calmly, "I'm not the one who threw the party. It was a surprise one, and you should have just asked Uncle Milford to come. You know why they don't include you in events. You are always finding ways to sabotage things, and never let anyone get to see a nice side of you."

The sky looked beautiful. A crescent moon winked at me while stars sprinkled across the silk night like glitter on a gown. I remembered the scent of Robbie; Cool and sweet like a vanilla cake and mint. He looked into my eyes with such fierce passion I nearly fell backwards.

Robbie said, "Who are you to talk to me like this? I know very well what I do with my time, and it's not to be spent galloping around your friends like a pansy. I'm a man of mischief. If you haven't learned that by now, you are dumb."

"I'm not dumb," I responded, still feeling his gaze pierce my being. "I'm just concerned. No one seems to catch on, but I know it's you every time there's a problem in this town."

"Dumb."

_Have you ever loved somebody so much_

_It makes you cry_

I felt tears well up in my eyes. Robbie was a lost soul searching for acceptance in the worst way. The problem was, this worst way was the way I learned to love. This was the crucial moment I knew my feelings for this unsung hero. I let a few tears roll down my cheeks. My heart ached. My fingers outstretched towards his as they rested on the bleacher. I longed to hold his hand.

_Have you ever needed something so bad_

_You can't sleep at night_

_Have you ever tried to find the words_

_But they don't come out right_

"Pinky?" Robbie noticed my soft sobs.

"It's just, you always fill your days with villainy and - well - I feel as if I'll never get to know you." My words ripped through the air. I could tell Robbie was affected somehow.

Finally, Robbie's fingers crossed over mine gently. We sat silently for a moment, or maybe it was five moments. Either way, time intertwined with emotions, ringing them dry like a twisted terrycloth towel.

The red clown nose was taken off. Robbie threw it across the football field.

_Have you ever?_

"I'm sorry," I said.

My hand was held completely, fingers laced and palms touching.

Robbie replied, "So am I. I guess I never realized someone would want to be my friend. I just want Sportacus out of Lazytown. Villainy - it's what I was made for."

"Well, why can't you just put it on hold for awhile?" I really didn't mean to ask this.

In return, Robbie shot, "Maybe just for right now. This moment."

I stared at my feet.

_Have you ever?_

While we sat, hands held and silence present, my stomach did not fail to flip more than Sportacus. We watched the stars together, which was the most cliche thing Robbie has ever done. I felt out of place, but the awkwardness subsided as I realized Robbie was still in a clown costume. I stifled the laughter so I wouldn't ruin our deep concentration on the sky.

_Have you ever found the one_

_You've dreamed of all your life_

_You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes_

My eyes met with the dark pools of Robbie's. At first, he didn't notice my stare. When he did, an explosion of butterflies was set off in the pit of my stomach. Here we were, alone on the perfect night. I knew I had fallen for him.

Robbie leaned in. He took his free hand and traced over my cheek, barely touching my blushing skin.

_Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to_

_Only to find that one won't give their heart to you_

_Have you ever closed your eyes and_

I let go of his hand, afraid of keeping him from leaving. For some reason, I thought he wanted to leave. Instead, he faced me and placed an arm around my shoulder.

_Dreamed that they were there_

My memory tends to be a little blurry at this moment in time. I knew Robbie had been moving towards me, but it was too slow to register. He closed his eyes and I closed mine . . . I can still feel the softness of his lips grazing mine with such a longing, I thought we would die from the heat. Our lips locked together, separated, allowed air to escape and enter between our mouths.

_And all you can do is wait for that day_

_When they will care_

_Have you ever loved somebody so much_

_It makes you cry_

_Have you ever needed something so bad_

_You can't sleep at night_

Robbie placed a hand on my cheek. He kissed - no - there's no words for how he touched my lips with his. It was the most beautiful thing. I could have never thought Robbie Rotten possible of such gentleness. He pulled me in closer, but the romantic lip-tango did not cease.

I pulled away.

"Stephanie," Robbie whispered on a tired breath. "I . . . I think -"

"_Stephanie!"_

Our lead arms fell and bodies quickly moved apart.

Sportacus stood in the distance, asking if I was alright. I said yes, and some other words that I cannot recall right now. Robbie smiled at me and told me he would see me in the morning.

I didn't see him until a few days later, where he tried to pass off as a police officer arresting Sportacus.

_Have you ever tried to find the words_

_But they don't come out right_

_Have you ever? Have you ever?_

Everything went back to normal. It's been over a month and Robbie never finished his sentence. I've talked to him as we used to, caught him in his finest ploys to trash Sportacus. Nothing is different.

And now, I write in my diary. I am trying to find a way to go back to that night and find something, perhaps a hint, that Robbie might love me too. As for now, I have to play guessing games and plan on somehow being alone with him for just a couple seconds.

_What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby_

_What do I gotta say to get you in my heart_

_To make you understand how I need you next to me_

Then, only then will we melt under the Lazytown sun in sweet villain and super-girl-hero romance.

_Have you ever?_

_Have you ever?_


End file.
